Sunday, March 18, 2012

a vacation for Jacob

Oh he is excited about this one...although his 13 year old self doesnt show it, but I know he is.  His poppo and grammy have booked him a flight to visit them for about 5 days of his spring break.  He will be flying all alone (luckily it is a direct flight and less than 2 hrs) and will get to be away from us.  (I think he is more excited to do something on his own without his sisters doing it...its rough being the baby!) 

Here is how the conversation went one day.
Mom: Jacob, poppo found you a flight. You wanna go visit them?
Jacob: Heck yeah.  No offense, but I want to get away from you guys for awhile.
Mom: ::mouth drops and is left speechless::

What a stinker that boy is!  How dare he say he wants to be away from his momma! 

A punishment?

About a week ago, I was talking about going to church and asked Jacob if he would go with me.  He told me no.  I then mentioned to him that he should go and give praise for the disease heading toward remission.  Without looking up to me he casually mentioned that God is not helping his disease, the medicine is.  I was caught totally dumbfounded.  I then followed with asking him who he thought the idea of medicine came from and with this he answered, "doctors".  I was left speechless.  I had no response.

Maybe a day or so later, I asked him why he thought God is not helping him.  He point blank told me that he did something wrong.  He has no clue what he did wrong, but that he must have done something wrong for God to punish him with this disease.  My heart sunk.  I tried to explain to him that he has done nothing wrong, but he cannot be convinced.  I told him that I am going to find a way to prove to him that he is not being punished.

I have googled some (not as much as I need to though) and have even emailed one of the pastors at the church (I have not received a response, but she has been really busy as of late).  I then was laying down in my own bed and in one of those twilight kind of sleeps (you know, the one where you are somewhat aware of your surroundings, but still partially sleeping) and it came to me that I, too, at times feel like I am being punished for something when my arthritis acts up.  I totally get what the kid means.  I know deep in my heart that I am not being punished.  There is a reason for me having rheumatoid arthritis and there is a reason for Jacob getting Berger's disease.  We just do not know it and we may never know the reason.  I personally feel that having arthritis has made me a better person.  I can understand and relate to my patients better.  I am more sensitive to others.  For Jacob it seems to have done the opposite.  This disease has made him hard.  Maybe it is just our personalities.  I am forever the optimist, while he is pessimistic, like his dad. 

I explained to him yesterday that I understand how he feels.  I get that he feels like he is being punished.  I have faith that we are not.  He does not have that faith.  So now that is a task for me.  To help him develop that faith.  Positive attitude goes a long way in treating illness.  If anyone reads this, and you have some suggestions for me, leave a comment.  I could use the help.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

a VERY GOOD clinic update

Jacob has gone 4 weeks without a clinic appointment. This past Tuesday he had one.  I work at the hospital where his clinic is and I am allowed access to his medical records at work so, of course, after each clinic appointment I read the doctor's notes and check the lab results. Last night I checked his labs and they are looking good! The only thing that was abnormal was that his urine still had protein and blood in it.  The blood was 3+ and it has been that.  The protein went to 1+ which is the best it has ever been!  His H&H were a tad low, but no where near needing attention to.  His cholesterol was good at 150.  The next visit I am going to see about taking away the Zocor.
Tonight I checked the doctor's note and was very happy to read, "Thus in summary, Jacob appears to be heading into at least partial remission of his IgA glomerulonephritis". PRAISE THE GOOD LORD ABOVE! I knew that with medication, diet change, and God's grace that he would get better!  Now to get those kidneys into full remission!!